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The term “March Madness” was coined in 1939 by an Illinois high school official named Henry Porter, but it didn’t relate to the annual NCAA basketball tournament until 1982, when broadcaster Brent Musburger put it in play.

Musburger was referring to the drama that comes with 68 teams competing in the single-elimination event, now underway. But here’s the real madness: Americans will legally wager an estimated $3.3 billion on the men’s and women’s tournaments. According to the American Gaming Association, it’s an increase of 54% in just the past three years.

The bottom line is that, one way or another, “Everybody Loses.”

That’s the title of a new book by my son, Danny Funt, who provides a comprehensive look at how legal sports gambling exploded following the 2018 Supreme Court ruling that allowed states to make it legal. Moreover, Danny details the efforts of betting companies to seduce gamblers, with reckless disregard for the growing number of addicted participants.

He writes: “If sports betting continues down the path it’s been on since 2018, I wonder if watching a game without also wagering on it will, before long, seem quaint or even pointless.”

Subtitled “The Tumultuous Rise of American Sports Gambling,” the book explains how U.S. lawmakers, in their haste to rake in tax money through legalized wagering, failed to learn from the experience of other nations. Many countries, with longer periods of legalization, have had to reel in sports betting and install more guardrails — something that would have been easier to do at the start, rather than after serious problems were identified.

In Colorado, for example, legislation was introduced this month by Democrat Andy Ball to limit what he calls “a culture that normalizes constant gambling.” Among its provisions, the measure would prohibit the use of credit cards for bets and block promotional bonus payments in exchange for placing an online wager.

As Danny’s book points out, sports gambling, unlike other forms of addiction, often develops slowly—perhaps over two or three years. The insidious process can be more harmful than with, say, alcohol. It also means that much of the U.S. is still too early in the legalization era to fully evaluate the damage that out-of-control wagering is causing.

Exactly a year ago, during March Madness, Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.) reintroduced federal legislation called the SAFE Bet Act, addressing public health aspects of legalized sports gambling. The goal, said Blumenthal, is “to stop the sports betting industry from abhorrently exploiting addiction. We have seen far too many – especially young people – driven into gambling abuse disorder, which is a disease.” The bill remains stalled in committee.

I don’t often use this forum to plug a product. But I think Danny’s book is a worthy exception because of the profound way in which gambling is overwhelming the sports we love.

And that, whether you’re a casual bettor or someone deep into addiction, is maddening.

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Copyright 2026 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Inside Fantasy Football.”

President Trump deserves credit for bravely having himself added to the outdated and, frankly, boring name of the venue previously known as The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.

Considering that Mr. Trump single-handedly saved the center from decay and ruin, permanently branding it with his name is the least the board of trustees could do to show its appreciation — along with renaming itself the Trump Board of Trustees, which would be appropriate.

Other renamings proposed by the White House have been delayed due to Mr. Trump’s modesty and unwillingness to, as one aide put it, “grandstand.” According to unnamed sources, the contemplated name changes include:

BIG TRUMP. McDonald’s signature Big Mac, long a favorite of the 47th president, who has been known to eat several at a sitting, might soon bear his name. Mr. Trump is also fond of the Golden Arches which he has reportedly asked company officials to replicate in 24-carat, to hang alongside his other gold stuff in the Oval Office.

TRUMP-FOX NEWS CHANNEL. Fearing they might lose their most valuable viewer to a more conservative outlet such as Newsmax, the FNC board of directors is considering adding the Trump name to its title. Lara Trump, the president’s daughter-in-law, already hosts her own program on FNC, so rebranding the channel is the logical next step.

ST. DONALD’S CATHEDRAL. The New York City landmark, previously named after Saint Patrick, patron saint of Ireland, and located just a few blocks from the equally renowned Trump Tower, could soon be renamed in honor of the man who hopes to remodel it. Mr. Trump has said privately that the 1879 cathedral “has decayed badly and lacks modern bathrooms.”

TRUMPLAND. President Trump recently complained to Hollywood pals that Walt Disney’s park in Anaheim has decayed “like nothing anyone’s ever seen before” since opening in 1955, adding that a remodel and name change would make the attraction great again. When told that tickets to Disneyland now cost more than $200, Mr. Trump reportedly said that by opening the land currently occupied by Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway to oil drilling, the ticket price could be significantly lowered for the wealthiest 10 percent of parkgoers.

“TRUMP THE BEAUTIFUL.” As written by Katherine Lee Bates in 1895, the song about America has “decayed over time,” according to Lee Greenwood, composer of the Trump anthem “God Bless the USA.” Mr. Trump has reportedly commissioned Mr. Greenwood to “punch up” the Bates lyrics by adding his name.

Meanwhile, Melania Trump is said to be considering name changes of her own. On the proposed list: Melania Smith, Melania Jones and Melania Doe.

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Copyright 2026 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Inside Fantasy Football.”

I’m giving thanks this year for the few times I’ve gotten through an entire day without hearing any of these utterances.

“Your call is very important to us.”

“Proceed to the route.”

“Some patients experience nausea, shortness of breath, rash, fever, sleeplessness, muscle aches.”

“We have breaking news.”

“So strange. My dog never carries on like that.”

“At the end of the day, it is what it is.”

“Listen closely as our menu options have changed.”

“You can’t win if you don’t play.”

“It’s for your convenience.”

“There’s an atmospheric river heading toward the West Coast.”

“License and registration.”

“Do you want fries with that?”

“This program is being presented with limited commercial interruptions.”

“Please stay on the line for a short survey.”

“I love your outfit.”

“Don’t take Skyrizi if you are allergic to Skyrizi.”

“In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device.”

“In tonight’s performance, the part of Daisy will be played by…”

“Are you a member of our rewards program?”

“Please enter your 16-digit code.”

“Have you lost weight?”

“There’s literally no other quarterback who could make that throw.”

“Let’s agree to disagree.”

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Copyright 2025 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Inside Fantasy Football.”

Waking at 6:45 a.m., I stumbled three blocks to Summit Coffee in Charlotte, arriving just as they unlocked the door. The clerk poured my 16 ounces and asked, “How’s your day goin’?”

I wondered how many times during her shift she would ask that question.

Flashing the type of faux smile I hoped would not be perceived as rude, while still signaling mild annoyance, I gave my stock morning reply: “It’s too early to tell.”

Do service people who seem so curious about the quality of customers’ days actually pay attention to the responses? What if the answer came back, “I’m heading to the vet to pick up my cat who was hit by an Amazon truck.”

In the afternoon I usually change tactics and answer the question with a question: “How’s your day going?” This rarely gets any sort of response, although to be fair I usually don’t wait around for one.

Back home in California I drove out of the office lot as I do every weekday at about 6:15 p.m. as the guard chirped cheerfully, “Have a nice day!”

I fantasize about pulling over and lecturing this well-meaning fellow about clock management. At 6:15 it’s too late to salvage a lousy day. “Have a nice evening,” maybe.

I blame Starbucks for a lot of this. It’s by no means the only business that makes a formal fuss about the quality of customers’ days, but it’s probably the biggest and most obnoxious. Recently, as the crush of online and drive-through orders began causing serious delays at counters, some genius at Starbucks decided the solution was to order clerks — laughingly referred to by management as “partners” — to spend more time being chatty with customers, ridiculously dubbed “the Starbucks community.”

Apparently fearing that “How’s your day goin’?” had lost cachet, Starbucks directed clerks to draw things, such as smiley faces, on cups. A corporate memo declared: “We believe handwritten notes on our cups are a meaningful way for our baristas to connect with customers.”

I’m no sociologist but I think the amount of forced cheery chatter we encounter is inversely proportionate to the state of the world. I suppose clerks and their corporate bosses are doing the best they can to rosy up a dismal situation but, honestly, do they read the front page?

I think my day would be goin’ a lot better if you just gave me my coffee faster.

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Copyright 2025 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s new book, “Inside Fantasy Football: America’s Favorite Non-Contact Sport,” is available through Amazon.

One morning during Bill Clinton’s presidency I got a call from my friend who works at the Pebble Beach golf course. Mr. Clinton was teeing off at 6:30, he said, and if I hurried over I could tag along.

The golf was underwhelming. (More interesting was the choreography of Secret Service agents, zipping around in carts, with automatic weapons poking out of golf bags.) On the fourteenth fairway, the president had about 150 yards for his approach to the elevated green — one of the more challenging shots at Pebble. He shanked it badly into the trees on the right.

Without hesitation, Mr. Clinton dropped another ball and thrashed at it again, rolling it barely 30 feet to the left. His caddie provided a third ball, which managed to find the putting surface.

I have no idea what was written on the scorecard, if one was even kept that day. Mulligans weren’t newsworthy in the judgment of a few pool reporters and me.

I thought about that as I watched one of dozens of YouTube videos about Donald Trump’s latest golf adventure, at his new course in Scotland. In one viral clip the president’s two caddies appear to make a replacement ball magically appear.

Personally, I care deeply about President Trump’s policy decisions — many of which I disagree with. What I don’t care about is his golf game or whether he “cheats.”

It’s true that golf is a game of honor in which penalty strokes are often called by a player against himself. But in social situations where score doesn’t count (unless it’s being used to establish a handicap index), taking a do-over or “Breakfast Ball,” is fairly common. So is improving your lie — say, if the ball is near a root that could damage your club—or declaring a ball lost and dropping another without penalty.

The commentator Sam Stein told his 1.4 million YouTube subscribers that Mr. Trump’s golf deception “says a lot about him.” The president’s lack of golfing etiquette might be extreme, but it’s foolish for his critics to seize upon that as proof of, well, anything. It makes them look desperate and petty.

The sports writer Rick Reilly wrote an entire book back in 2019 called “The Commander in Cheat,” in which he said “golf is like bicycle shorts. It says a lot about a man.” It’s a clever line, but it doesn’t ring true to those of us who spend countless hours with otherwise upstanding buddies who fudge their golf scores regularly.

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Copyright 2025 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Inside Fantasy Football.”

On September 3, 1833, a 23-year-old publisher named Benjamin Day revolutionized the news business by producing a paper that sold for just a penny.

The Sun, which soon became the nation’s most successful daily, used as its slogan, “It Shines for All,” an obvious play on “sun,” but, in fact, the key word was “all.” Newspapers in that era cost five or six cents — out of reach for most Americans. A single penny, however, could be managed by all.

I thought about that the other day when reading a promotion from the Philadelphia Inquirer, the country’s third oldest daily, which came into being four years before The Sun. The offer: Get the Inquirer for one cent—not per day, but for a full week! (This is for complete digital access for six months at twenty-five cents; cancellable at any time.)

While the Inquirer is acting out of apparent desperation, The Sun, published in New York, was reinventing newspaper production, distribution and, moreover, reporting.

Mr. Day utilized a modern steam-driven, two-cylinder press to print The Sun. While hand-fed presses were capable of printing approximately 125 papers per hour, the new machines produced as many as 18,000 copies in the same time. With such volume, he was able to sell copies in bulk to street hawkers, who brought The Sun to the masses.

Within two years the paper was selling 15,000 copies a day, creating a market for advertising that eventually became the revenue base for newspapers and most other media.

These simple yet remarkable shifts led to the most important innovation of all: the redefinition of reporting and the news itself. With its broad working-class audience, The Sun was among the first news organizations to send reporters into the field, covering politics, crime and sports.

Some of the paper’s content verged on sensationalism, even fabrication — another innovation that, alas, has become more pervasive over time.

When Mr. Day took in a partner named Charles Dana, in 1868, The Sun rose to new heights. As editor, Mr. Dana molded it into what became known as “the newspaperman’s newspaper,” with editorials and human interest stories. These were the best of times for daily newspapers, lasting well over a century.

For today’s struggling papers, following Benjamin Day’s pricing strategy isn’t likely to yield much. Their hopes might best be rooted in The Sun’s editorial published in 1897, famously declaring, “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”

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Copyright 2025 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Inside Fantasy Football.”

The hit sitcom “Hacks,” starring Jean Smart as a talkshow host who breaks the glass ceiling for women, just wrapped its fourth season on Max. As delightful as the series has proved to be, it reminds us that women were actually pioneers in broadcast interviewing, not wannabes.

Three women revolutionized not only how women were viewed but also the concept of broadcast interviewing itself. Making this long forgotten bit of history more fascinating: They all used the name “Martha Deane.”

The story begins in 1934 when program execs at WOR radio in New York invented a fictional character, a grandmother with dozens of relatives, who would chat about family matters on a daily broadcast. This was a bold move. A study on the psychology of radio, conducted by Hadley Cantril and Gordon Allport, showed that both male and female listeners overwhelmingly preferred male announcers. The researchers found that audiences’ primary reasoning was, “women seem to them affected and unnatural when they broadcast.”

Nevertheless, WOR hired Mary Margaret McBride, a newspaper reporter from Missouri to be Martha Deane. After a few weeks she became so confused by the details of her faux bio that she confessed to listeners, “I’m not a grandmother! I’m not a mother. I’m not even married … The truth is I’m a reporter who would like to come here every day and tell you about places I go, people I meet.”

What could have been a career-ending scandal turned out to be a stroke of genius. Listeners loved her candor. Shedding the fictional backstory while retaining the pseudonym, McBride continued as Martha Deane at WOR for six years, earning the unofficial title, “First Lady of Radio.” Later, using her real name, she worked at CBS, NBC and ABC. At the height of her popularity McBride’s audience was estimated at nearly eight million people. Her tenth anniversary was marked by an event at a sold-out Madison Square Garden. On her fifteenth anniversary the party was attended by 54,000 adoring fans at Yankee Stadium and was hosted by none other than Eleanor Roosevelt.

When McBride left WOR she hand-picked one of her closest friends to succeed her, the veteran journalist Bessie Beatty. Beatty had been a foreign correspondent for Hearst newspapers and for a few years was editor of McCall’s Magazine. Rival Time magazine once labeled her “Mrs. Know-it-All.” Beatty only played the Martha Deane role for two years and was succeeded by Marian Taylor Young, who took over in 1941 and remained there, five days a week for 32 years, conducting over 10,000 interviews.

Beatty honed an approach to interviewing that was unique for the times: appealing to a large female audience without bothering with what was commonly known as a “women’s angle.” “Women’s angle? What’s that?” she once asked. “Women are people. If a story is good, it’s good. If it’s bad, it’s bad.”

In the season finale of “Hacks,” Jean Smart’s character quits her show with a rant about network interference. She sounded like a real Martha Deane.

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Copyright 2025 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Inside Fantasy Football.”

My wife Amy purchased a gift card for our daughter at Sephora, the large retailer of beauty products, but all she got was disappointment. When Stephanie tried to use it the clerk informed her the card had a $0 balance. No money.

It seems gift cards — growing rapidly in popularity — are increasingly subject to scams. Consumers lost over $250 million in gift card fraud last year, with such cases representing 25% of all FTC complaints.

That’s a fright for many of us who are used to the convenience of gift cards, which are sold not only directly through stores like Sephora, but also in supermarkets and pharmacies. Gift cards for hundreds of outlets — from Starbucks to Target, from Old Navy to Lowe’s — are handled by thousands of unaffiliated retailers. It’s estimated that fully half of all Americans have at least one gift card in their possession at any given time.

This month, seven men were arrested in New York State in a $20 million gift card scheme. “This is one of the largest money laundering cases my office has prosecuted in my time as district attorney,” said Nassau County’s Anne T. Donnelly.

A few weeks earlier, the Department of Homeland Security announced that it was “teaming up with federal, state, tribal and local law enforcement to identify, disrupt and dismantle Chinese organized crime groups engaged in gift card draining scams.”

According to federal officials, here’s what all-too-often happens:

Organized crime groups hire “takers” who steal unactivated gift cards from stores. The takers send the cards to colleagues known as “tamperers” who manipulate the packaging to gain access to the gift cards’ sensitive information. “Placers” put the repackaged cards back in stores, often in high-traffic locations.

The crime group’s “checkers” use tools, such as balance inquiries, to monitor when a consumer buys and loads funds onto the card. Once the card is funded and activated the checkers quickly transfer the funds into accounts in their control. The illicit gains are then spent on high-value products that are shipped overseas to be re-sold.

Organized criminals seem to like Sephora. Social media complaints go back over a year, yet many victims report frustration in dealing with the establishment. Sephora tells customers to call its sister company, LGCS Inc., for all gift card issues. And then there’s this disclosure on the back of the card, which states, “The value of this card will not be replaced if the card is lost, stolen, altered, destroyed or used without authorization.”

Maryland recently became the first state to pass a law specifically addressing gift card fraud.

If you do purchase a gift card, the sooner it’s used, the safer it is. Also, paying with a major credit card offers some protection. After Sephora flat out refused to help Amy, she managed to get a refund from her credit card company.

It would be nice if retailers like Sephora took the matter more seriously, rather than chalking up gift card fraud to the inevitable cost of doing business in these twisted times.

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Copyright 2025 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Playing POTUS: The Power of America’s Acting Presidents,” about comedians who impersonated presidents.

There’s nothing artificial about the controversy that’s growing among homeowners, educators, doctors and sports administrators over fake grass.

The artificial turf market is projected to nearly double in the U.S. by next year. Sports facilities are installing 1,500 new turf fields each year, with over 20,000 such fields around the country, according to the EPA.

Where I live in Central California, local high schools and colleges have essentially given up on grass. Million-dollar artificial football, baseball and soccer fields have been installed at eight schools just the last two years. Homeowners — including the woman who lives across the street from me — installed artificial lawns as water bills soared. In my neighborhood, watering an average lawn in the summer costs over $1,000 per month.

Some chemicals in the rubber base of synthetic turf, such as bisphenol A, commonly known as BPA, can leach out during extreme heat. These chemicals have been linked to various chronic diseases including cancers, diabetes and neurological impairments. California Gov. Gavin Newsom has signed a bill allowing cities and counties to ban artificial turf. Some California cities have already begun moving to prohibit fake lawns, including Millbrae in San Mateo County and San Marino in Los Angeles County.

The East Coast has led the way on anti-artificial turf legislation. New York state has placed a moratorium on new turf while Boston and several other communities in Massachusetts and Connecticut have enacted bans or severe restrictions. Many of the efforts have been driven by revelations surrounding the risk factors of chemicals associated with plastics like those used in fake grass.

Maintaining artificial turf sometimes costs more than the upkeep of natural grass. According to an Los Angeles Times report, “Naturally occurring organisms in soil break down much of what ends up on a grass field, including all kinds of human and animal bodily fluids. When the field is a plastic carpet, those systems can’t work, necessitating regular cleaning with a cleansing agent and a substantial amount of water. The infill component that cushions the turf must be combed, cleaned and replaced regularly as well. As the field ages, this work only increases.”

The NFL’s handling of artificial turf highlights the divided opinion on the issue. Of the league’s 30 stadiums, 15 have artificial surfaces, 13 have natural grass and two have a hybrid mix. As The Wall Street Journal noted in 2023, “NFL players have long said they prefer natural grass for both comfort and safety.” Pro players are focused primarily on leg injuries that critics say happen more frequently on synthetic surfaces; the high school debate centers more on health concerns involving leached chemicals.

Underscoring the vexing nature of the controversy: Artificial turf retains heat so readily that on-field temperatures are sometimes 10 or more degrees higher than the surrounding area. And what’s the best way to lower the temperature? By watering the surface, utilizing the very resource that proponents of artificial turf are seeking to preserve.

We ought to rethink our rush to cover too much of the landscape in plastic. Our fields of dreams shouldn’t be economically-rooted fields of schemes.

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Copyright 2025 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Playing POTUS: The Power of America’s Acting Presidents,” about comedians who impersonated presidents.

Ever find yourself at the coffee counter in need of one of those cardboard insulators for your hot paper cup? What’s that called? Few people know — including many, I discovered, who work at Starbucks. It’s a zarf.

Zarf is an Arabic word for “vessel” and was originally used to describe an ornamental metal holder for a drinking cup.

It’s been estimated that by age 20 a native English speaking American knows about 42,000 words. But does your personal list include the word for that twisted wire above the cork on a champagne bottle? It’s an agraffe.

Words like zarf and agraffe might be seem a bit exotic for everyday chit-chat but they come in handy in word games — which Americans are playing at an amazing pace. The global market for such games stands at about $2.5 billion, with roughly 80 percent of it here in the U.S. Games like Wordle, Words with Friends, Wordscapes and Boggle are soaring in popularity, despite competition from a raft of other online activities.

A few notes from recent research: Improvements in cognition has been confirmed in people who play a word game daily. Among kids, 35 percent of the best academic performers come from homes where word games are encouraged.

Wordle is far and away the most popular game, having attracted more than 43 million players since The New York Times bought it in 2022. In this seemingly dumbed-down age, who would have thought we’d become a nation of logophiles (lovers of words)?

Wordle will never have wamble as an answer, because words must have only five letters. But you can use wamble in Scrabble. It’s the noise your stomach occasionally makes.

In addition to expanding vocabulary, today’s popular word games promote interaction with other people — friends, family and even anonymous competitors who might be half-way around the world.

So, what’s the word for the smooth part of your forehead between the eyebrows? Or, the dip that naturally occurs in your upper lip?

The area between the eyebrows is the glabella and the indentation on the upper lip is the philtrum.

Ever wonder what to call that thing in the center of a steering wheel that you push to honk the horn? Is it the honker? No. The mechanical gizmo is known as the diaphragm.

When I write “is” or “just” is there a word for the dot above the i and j? You betcha. It’s tittle.

My goal in the New Year is to avoid using “whatchamacallit” or “thingamabob” to describe things that have actual names. Of course, I’ll type my words. I wouldn’t want to write them by hand and be guilty of griffonage, which Merriam-Webster explains is “a crude or illegible scrawl.”

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Copyright 2024 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Inside Fantasy Football: America’s Favorite Non-Contact Sport.”