If you want to see a flying whale, go to the Natural History Museum in London. That’s because it’s dead. Right when you enter the museum, you see that enormous skeleton suspended from the ceiling: a whole blue whale, or what’s left of it...
Just because I think littering should be punishable by death doesn't mean I'm an unreasonable person. I smile when dogs get on public transport. I also have a freshly-oiled chainsaw in my garage...
England! Glorious England! I’ve been in London for the past month, officially as part of a study abroad program. When traveling, the usual questions come up. What’s the currency exchange rate?..
I’ve spent a lot of time on the couch. Where most children graduate from a little bed to a bigger one, I graduated to one of those foldable couches where you can keep things beneath the seat. I barely feel those tennis rackets...
I just finished “Democracy in America,” which is a book by a Frenchman named Alexis de Tocqueville on… well, it’s in the title. Watson of the duo, only without a mustache, sailed to the United States to check out its capital attractions...
When I hike to the end of a long trail and see a beautiful sunset or a sparkling river, a single thought always occurs to me: did I turn off the oven? They’re trying to get themselves in shape and to get me out of my desk chair...
Recently I took up crocheting, the theory being that if I can’t survive a zombie apocalypse, at least I can have nice coasters. Correspondingly, it requires half a brain to do, which is twice as much as I have...
["cartoon id="272355"] You shouldn’t need the arm strength of a gorilla to open a can of tuna. And it is easy, if you define hard as easy. On my part, I’m just about ready to donate my cans to the local ballpark so I can see flying fish...
It’s the off-the-cuff speeches that take the most preparation. Come to think of it, I haven’t even been a public speaker. But I am undeterred. Or unhinged. You get it. I have a lot of examples to look up to...
Usually I don’t read anything more complex than the back of a cereal box, but this week — perhaps it was fate, perhaps it was indigestion — I found an essay on Latin America...
Let us not be too particular about getting things at thrift stores. I’m one of those people who shows up after all the gold bars are gone (thanks a lot, you guys). All that glitters is not gold, but sometimes it’s half-priced silverware...
Recently, a capital plan was brought to my attention. I refer to becoming a test subject. It might be better to be insane for that, actually. Not in the photo accompanying this article, because in public I have perfect vision...
Alexandra Paskhaver is a software engineer and writer. Both jobs require knowing where to stick semicolons, but she’s never quite; figured; it; out. For more information, check out her website at https://apaskhaver.github.io.