In our hopelessly polarized world, surely we can agree on this: Bill Belichick needs an intervention.

If you haven’t yet heard, Bill, 73, is engaged to 24-year-old former cheerleader, beauty queen and philosophy major, Jordon Hudson.

They met four years ago on a plane when Bill began chatting with her.

She was reading a book called “Deductive Logic” and — quickly deducing he had lots of money — she chatted back.

They exchanged contact info and kept in touch, which laid the groundwork for their May-December romance — or, to be precise, their May 1-Dec. 31 romance.

At the time, Bill was still dating his longtime 60-year-old girlfriend.

When she and Bill split (privately in 2022, publicly in 2023), he wrongly concluded his next romance should be with a woman born the same year he started worrying about prostate health.

Nobody knows the details of their early relationship — because there is a loving God.

They were first seen together a few years ago walking around New Orleans — the city where jazz was born just a few months before Bill was.

Some may accuse Jordon of having daddy issues, but that’s not so — if she has any issues, they are great-granddaddy issues.

Some of her actions are concerning.

On “CBS Sunday Morning,” when the interviewer asked Bill how he and Jordon first met, she cut him off and said, “We’re not talking about this!”

Bill is now the head football coach at North Carolina.

She shows up at his games in outfits so flashy — white knee-high boots, snake-print miniskirts, midriff-baring tops — “The Real Wives of Possum Hollow” wouldn’t wear them.

She filed a trademark application for the phrase “Gold Digger” to brand her coming line of retail products — her way of poking fun at people criticizing her relationship with a man so old his first NFL playbook was engraved on a stone tablet.

I know we live in a time when we’re supposed to live and let live — we’re supposed to encourage people to “just do you.”

But we’ve got to get Bill out of this situation for our own well-being.

Look, women have always been smarter than men. They’ve been running circles around us since Adam thought the apple was his idea.

My own mother ran everything in a manner so cleverly that my father never realized he never once made his own decision.

Bill’s romance is a continuous, painful reminder that we men aren’t nearly as smart, agile or competent as our male hubris wants us to believe we are.

He may have won six Super Bowls, but she’s outfoxing the hapless fool at every turn — with more cunning than his defensive schemes ever had.

It’s not only that Jordon is so much younger. She’s clearly an A-personality type: driven, controlling and relentless.

She — the most offensive coordinator he’s ever had — scolds him in public.

I bet she orders his food in restaurants: “Hey, Flo, light on the salt, heavy on the roughage!”

Look, all of us — left, right, liberal, conservative — finally have a national challenge we can agree on.

But we must act fast.

Rumors are circulating that the lovebirds are starting — God help us! — to smooch on the sidelines.

Just as importantly, we must free Bill from this entanglement before he blows out a knee on “Dancing with the Stars.”

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Copyright 2025 Tom Purcell, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Find Tom Purcell’s syndicated column, humor books and funny videos of his dog, Thurber, at TomPurcell.com. Email him at [email protected].