I’m giving thanks this year for the few times I’ve gotten through an entire day without hearing any of these utterances.

“Your call is very important to us.”

“Proceed to the route.”

“Some patients experience nausea, shortness of breath, rash, fever, sleeplessness, muscle aches.”

“We have breaking news.”

“So strange. My dog never carries on like that.”

“At the end of the day, it is what it is.”

“Listen closely as our menu options have changed.”

“You can’t win if you don’t play.”

“It’s for your convenience.”

“There’s an atmospheric river heading toward the West Coast.”

“License and registration.”

“Do you want fries with that?”

“This program is being presented with limited commercial interruptions.”

“Please stay on the line for a short survey.”

“I love your outfit.”

“Don’t take Skyrizi if you are allergic to Skyrizi.”

“In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device.”

“In tonight’s performance, the part of Daisy will be played by…”

“Are you a member of our rewards program?”

“Please enter your 16-digit code.”

“Have you lost weight?”

“There’s literally no other quarterback who could make that throw.”

“Let’s agree to disagree.”

–

Copyright 2025 Peter Funt distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Peter Funt’s latest book is “Inside Fantasy Football.”