Laughter is a precious commodity in these dark times, and I indulge myself whenever authoritarian elf Mike Johnson opens his mouth. I’m like that mirthful Mary Poppins character who sings, “I love to laugh, long and loud and clear.”

The hapless House Speaker is defending the Republican government shutdown – and the imminent result that millions of Americans will see their Obamacare premiums spike as much as 100 percent – by insisting that there’s no reason to panic because his party is on the verge of crafting better health care coverage.

“Republicans are the ones concerned about health care,” Johnson told reporters last week. “We have hundreds of ideas literally on the table… grabbing the best ideas that we’ve had for years, to put it on paper and make it work.”

If one definition of insanity is saying the same thing over and over and over, then this party should be listed as a synonym. And it parrots its cult leader, who promised earlier in the shutdown that “We have a negotiation going on right now…that could lead to some very good things” for “great health care.”

This guy’s con has been going on for so long – dating back 15 years, to the birth of Obamacare – that now even people like Marjorie Taylor Greene are freaking out.

Greene has been pleading for help, since many of the Obamacare beneficiaries live in her red Georgia district. In recent days she has tweeted that “my own adult children’s insurance premiums for 2026 are going to DOUBLE,’“ and that lots of her constituents (“wonderful families and hard-working people”) will be similarly screwed if the enhanced subsidies are allowed to soon expire.

But does her party have anything in the works to help those people, any alternative plan at all? As if. Greene’s words: “Not a single Republican in leadership talked to us about this, or has given us a plan to help Americans deal with their health insurance premiums DOUBLING!!!…Johnson said he’s got ideas and pages of policy ideas,” but he has “he refused to give one policy proposal to our GOP (members).”

Maybe the new definition of woke is a conservative Republican who has finally seen the light.

The current crisis is what happens when you’re mesmerized by a carnival barker. Trump has long voiced his intention to kill Obamacare and replace it with something purportedly better, but I’ve tracked his worthless assurances since forever.

First campaign, 2016: “We will immediately repeal and replace Obamacare – and nobody can do that like me.”

First campaign, 2016: Replacing Obamacare “is gonna be so easy…And we will do it very quickly.”

January 2017: “You’re going to be very proud of what we put forth having to do with health care…The final strokes…It will be repeal and replace. It will be various segments, you understand, but will most likely be on the same day or the same week, but probably the same day. Could be the same hour.”

July 2017: “We’re gonna get that done, and I think we’re gonna surprise a lot of people.”

May 2018: “Wait’ll you see the plan we have coming up – literally over the next four weeks.”

June 2018: “We have a plan coming out in a very short period of time.”

May 2019: “We’re gonna have fantastic health care, and the plan is coming out in the next four weeks.”

June 2019: “We already have the concept of a plan…We’ll be announcing that in about two months.”

July 2020: “We’re signing a plan within two weeks.”

August 2020: “We’re going to be doing a very inclusive plan. I’ll be signing it very soon…Might be Sunday. But it’s going to be very soon.”

November 2023: “(Obamacare) is not good health care. I’m seriously looking at alternatives.”

Health care reform has never been in the GOP’s DNA. The party’s shtick is helping the rich cut their taxes, not helping the common folk get affordable coverage – even though 57 percent of Obamacare enrollees reportedly live in red congressional districts and 59 percent of citizen Republicans nationwide say the subsidies should be extended.

Democrats on Capitol Hill clearly hope a red grassroots groundswell will compel their GOP counterparts to cave – to agree to extend the subsidies as the price for reopening the government – but right now it’s hard to imagine that members who’ve been groomed to lick Trump’s shoes will come to their senses and serve their constituents.

Matthew Dowd, former pollster for George W. Bush, has the most succinct take on where we are: “GOP holds the White House, House, and Senate; refuses to compromise; does Trump’s bidding; and doesn’t care about the damage to our country or people’s lives. End of story.”

But fear not, Trump will soon ride to the rescue on health care with an awesome plan, according to his top federal health official, Dr. Mehmet Oz. You may remember Oz. He was federally investigated for a fake weight-loss cure, he was outed as a fraud by the British Medical Journal, and he was assailed by 1,300 physicians who signed a letter calling him “a quack and a fake and a charlatan.”

So naturally Trump hired him. And he knows how to repay a favor. On TV the other day, he said this:

“I fully believe the president has a plan.”

It never ends. What else can we do but laugh? To laugh is to abide the unendurable. Cue the rest of that Mary Poppins stanza:

“I love to laugh, loud and long and clear /

I love to laugh, it’s getting worse every year.”

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Copyright 2025 Dick Polman, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Dick Polman, a veteran national political columnist based in Philadelphia and a Writer in Residence at the University of Pennsylvania, writes the Subject to Change newsletter. Email him at [email protected]