Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

No, I won’t make it to the Grand Military Parade in Washington, D.C. on June 14, but…

… I’ll definitely be poring over my late father’s Army memorabilia, including the mimeographed bulletin from October 7, 1946 when the young draftee was appointed as a temporary Tech Fifth Grade in the 368th station hospital at Fort Gulick in the Panama Canal Zone.

Yes, the United States Army is celebrating its 250th birthday on June 14, and I am proud that so many of my forefathers served their country in that branch, the oldest and largest of the six armed forces. (Being the oldest and largest, it must constantly resist the urge to ask the others, “Why do you keep hitting yourself? Why do you keep hitting yourself?”)

At least one direct ancestor served during the Revolutionary War. At least two fought in the War of 1812. True, two great-great grandfathers fought against the U.S. Army during the War Between the States; but I’m sticking to the story that hallucinogenic goober peas had something to do with the squabble.

Technically, the U.S. Army was created in 1784, but the service considers itself a continuation of the Continental Army. (I think the Continental Army was the one that served pastries and fruit instead of chipped beef on toast.)

Unfortunately, day-to-day appreciation of the Army has waxed and waned with periods of war and peace. And the creation of the all-volunteer military renders the Army “out of sight, out of mind” for all but the affected families. But the Army is still (rightfully) deeply ingrained in the American consciousness.

Song lyrics such as the World War I-era “You’re in the army now/You’re not behind a plow” and Irving Berlin’s 1942 “This is the army, Mr. Jones/No private rooms or telephones…” softened enlistees’ love-hate relationship with the military. Sgt. Barry Sadler’s “The Ballad of the Green Berets” (1966) upped the ante on duty, honor and sacrifice.

Hollywood has lampooned the military mindset with TV shows such as “Sgt. Bilko” and “M*A*S*H,” as well as films including “At War With the Army” (Martin and Lewis) and“No Time For Sergeants” (Andy Griffith). George C. Scott’s Oscar-winning portrayal of General George S. Patton delivered a more somber examination of combat.

And we mustn’t forget Abbott and Costello in 1941’s “Buck Privates.” Sure, in light of recent controversial military policies, it would be renamed “Surgically Removed Privates” if produced today; but I got a kick out of Bud and Lou, anyway.

As far as the comics are concerned, Snoopy regularly paid tribute to editorial cartoonist Bill Mauldin, creator of the bedraggled infantry troopers Willie and Joe. “Beetle Bailey” has been in the Army since 1951. “Sad Sack” comic books proliferated like rabbits in the Sixties and Seventies. Sgt. Rock and Sgt. Fury are important parts of the history of DC Comics and Marvel Comics, respectively.

And who could forget those soul-stirring Army recruitment messages, like the recently-revived Eighties “Be all you can be” campaign?

Or James Montgomery Flagg’s iconic 1917 poster featuring Uncle Sam insisting, “I want YOU for U.S. Army.” (I understand it was more effective than 1976’s poster of Peter Frampton insisting, “I want yoouuu to show me the way…”)

I know I’ve been irreverent enough to warrant latrine duty, but God bless the U.S. Army for playing a part in protecting that precious freedom!

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Copyright 2025 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at [email protected] and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”