Have you ever fought for a lost cause?

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Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

I probably hadn’t seen Frank Capra’s “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” before launching my crusade 50 years ago, but the idea “lost causes are the only causes that are worth fighting for” would’ve certainly resonated with me.

On November 10, 1974, I opened the Sunday comics section of the Nashville “Tennessean” and discovered that “Dick Tracy” had been unceremoniously canceled mid-story. I was blindsided. The jut-jawed detective had “always” (well, since 1937, anyway) been part of the “Tennessean” Sunday funnies.

Call me an obsessed nerd with too much time (and too many ink stains) on his hands, but I immediately launched a campaign that dragged out over the next five or six years. Inspired by the song “The Impossible Dream,” I strove to achieve justice for “Tracy” and other classic strips that the “Tennessean” had dumped in the early Seventies.

My impassioned letters to the comics editor were followed by appeals to various “Tennessean” executives, a petition drive at the Nashville Fairgrounds Flea Market, a well-received high school term paper and an ill-fated plan for a Nashville “happy news” reporter to cover my efforts.

And let’s not forget 1977 when I won an essay contest and went on a youth tour of Washington, D.C. I was able to hand-deliver an appeal for help to Sen. Howard Baker, Sen. Jim Sasser and President Jimmy Carter. (Pres. Carter’s apologetic “The Secret Service will have to take that” was the last I heard of the matter. Perhaps the envelope resides in a vast warehouse alongside the Ark of the Covenant.)

I quickly learned that Lou Grant was not the only newsman who hated spunk. Although some of his out-of-the-loop colleagues communicated with me, the specfic editor who single-handedly pulled the trigger on “Tracy” (and “Gasoline Alley” and…) never once displayed the courtesy to answer me directly.

(In college I worked on a radio documentary about my crusade. One of my teammates phoned the editor to ask why “Tracy” was discontinued, and was caught flat-footed when the editor demanded, “Is that idiot from Lewisburg involved in this???”)

The obligations of young adulthood eventually caused me to stop pursuing the “white whale” of “Tracy” reinstatement, but I don’t really have any regrets.

I got to hone my debate skills. I received an original sketch from “Dick Tracy” creator Chester Gould shortly before he passed the torch to a new artist and writer. I had plenty of material for a report in “Dick Tracy Magazine.” My perseverance was good practice for taking two years to get a second date with my wife. I learned to tell my true friends from my friends who were doubtless henchmen of Flattop and Pruneface…

And I enjoyed a certain degree of vindication. The strip that replaced “Tracy” lasted about a month. The strip that replaced the replacement didn’t last much longer. When the comics editor retired, the paper switched to having comics decisions made by a committee instead of one tyrant. The editor (God rest his soul) is long deceased, but Dick Tracy (although suffering from the stigma afflicting serialized strips in general) is still solving crimes.

What about you? Do you have any doomed quests, unrequited loves or quixotic exploits you’d like to share? You can send them to my email address ([email protected]), or if you’re a diehard Tracy fan as well, there’s always the two-way wrist TV route…

Copyright 2024 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at [email protected] and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”

Controversial author Harlan Ellison once described the work of Danny Tyree as "wonkily extrapolative" and said Tyree's mind "works like a demented cuckoo clock."

Ellison was speaking primarily of Tyree’s 1983-2000 stint on the "Dan T’s Inferno" column for “Comics Buyer’s Guide” hobby magazine, but the description would also fit his weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades" column for mainstream newspapers.

Inspired by Dave Barry, Al "Li'l Abner" Capp, Lewis Grizzard, David Letterman, and "Saturday Night Live," "Tyree's Tyrades" has been taking a humorous look at politics and popular culture since 1998.

Tyree has written on topics as varied as Rent-A-Friend.com, the Lincoln bicentennial, "Woodstock At 40," worm ranching, the Vatican conference on extraterrestrials, violent video games, synthetic meat, the decline of soap operas, robotic soldiers, the nation's first marijuana café, Sen. Joe Wilson’s "You lie!" outburst at President Obama, Internet addiction, "Is marriage obsolete?," electronic cigarettes, 8-minute sermons, early puberty, the Civil War sesquicentennial, Arizona's immigration law, the 50th anniversary of the Andy Griffith Show, armed teachers, "Are women smarter than men?," Archie Andrews' proposal to Veronica, 2012 and the Mayan calendar, ACLU school lawsuits, cutbacks at ABC News, and the 30th anniversary of the death of John Lennon.

Tyree generated a particular buzz on the Internet with his column spoofing real-life Christian nudist camps.

Most of the editors carrying "Tyree’s Tyrades" keep it firmly in place on the opinion page, but the column is very versatile. It can also anchor the lifestyles section or float throughout the paper.

Nancy Brewer, assistant editor of the "Lawrence County (TN) Advocate" says she "really appreciates" what Tyree contributes to the paper. Tyree has appeared in Tennesee newspapers continuously since 1998.

Tyree is a lifelong small-town southerner. He graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1982 with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communications. In addition to writing the weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades," he writes freelance articles for MegaBucks Marketing of Elkhart, Indiana.

Tyree wears many hats (but still falls back on that lame comb-over). He is a warehousing and communications specialist for his hometown farmers cooperative, a church deacon, a comic book collector, a husband (wife Melissa is a college biology teacher), and a late-in-life father. (Six-year-old son Gideon frequently pops up in the columns.)

Bringing the formerly self-syndicated "Tyree's Tyrades" to Cagle Cartoons is part of Tyree's mid-life crisis master plan. Look for things to get even crazier if you use his columns.