Can public figures stop cheapening Veterans Day?

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Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

If you designed a banner declaring, “The world is full of crazies” and ran it up the flagpole, assuredly, I would salute it.

On the other hand, as Veterans Day approaches, I realize the world is also full of opportunists – opportunists who devalue the dangers faced by the nation’s military personnel.

We’ve all witnessed it with increasing frequency: some office-holder, bureaucrat or celebrity (a) gets pushback for a totally outrageous statement or (b) finally gets busted engaging in some flavor of financial/political/sexual skullduggery.

Instantly, they switch from time-honored “fight or flight” mode to patented 21st-century “play the victim and shoot the messenger” mode.

“Death threats! Take my word for it! I’m receiving death threats ever since they misrepresented my humanitarian work surgically attaching ostrich legs to week-old kittens! My second family gets death threats, too. And my uncle who passed away in 1973. And my imaginary childhood friend!”

Sure, I understand that the cloak of anonymity is a siren call for hotheads with too much time on their hands. Judges have been stalked. Buildings have been bombed.

I simply find it a smidge too convenient that society is suddenly suffering a raging epidemic of death threats.
Whether it’s a matter of exaggeration or baldfaced lying, something just doesn’t ring true.

Maybe it’s the rash of “racist” incidents that turn out to be hoaxes; but something makes me suspect that a substitute interim dog-catcher with an unlisted phone and miniscule social-media presence isn’t really being tracked down and harassed unmercifully.

A legitimate fear is a legitimate fear, but hyped-up allegations do a disservice to veterans and Americans currently in uniform. Ideally, a military career is a way to earn a living and learn valuable skills while dutifully keeping the peace; but looming “death threats” have always been part and parcel of the job description.

It’s a form of “stolen valor” when some huckster schemes to play the hero if a mean ol’ undercover investigator exposes his wrongful behavior and consequences ensue.

It’s not just our military personnel who are dissed. It’s also a slap in the face to the survivors of Hurricane Helene whenever some crybaby starts blubbering about being “flooded” by death threats (real or imagined).

Each of us should ponder the repercussions of our fiery rhetoric. Genuine threats of death or bodily injury should always be given serious attention.

But people caught with their hand in the cookie jar need to acknowledge their hand is in the cookie jar, take responsibility for their actions, stop blaming whoever caught them and cease their “this is the worst day of my life” caterwauling.

By its very definition, we don’t owe anyone unearned sympathy.

As we think about “boots on the ground,” the whiners who deflect scrutiny need a boot strategically placed somewhere else.

It’s appropriate that we honor our men and women in uniform for risking their lives to safeguard our sacred freedoms.
But civilians have a part to play in the preservation of liberty as well. We need to be vigilant and discerning.
If you wouldn’t want scam artists or romantic partners “playing” you, don’t let miscreants caught redhanded play you, either.

Allowing public figures to skate by and employ “death threats” as a “get out of jail free” card is not a mark of good citizenship.

In the home of the brave, we shouldn’t be bashful about demanding accountability.

Copyright 2024 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at [email protected] and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”

Controversial author Harlan Ellison once described the work of Danny Tyree as "wonkily extrapolative" and said Tyree's mind "works like a demented cuckoo clock."

Ellison was speaking primarily of Tyree’s 1983-2000 stint on the "Dan T’s Inferno" column for “Comics Buyer’s Guide” hobby magazine, but the description would also fit his weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades" column for mainstream newspapers.

Inspired by Dave Barry, Al "Li'l Abner" Capp, Lewis Grizzard, David Letterman, and "Saturday Night Live," "Tyree's Tyrades" has been taking a humorous look at politics and popular culture since 1998.

Tyree has written on topics as varied as Rent-A-Friend.com, the Lincoln bicentennial, "Woodstock At 40," worm ranching, the Vatican conference on extraterrestrials, violent video games, synthetic meat, the decline of soap operas, robotic soldiers, the nation's first marijuana café, Sen. Joe Wilson’s "You lie!" outburst at President Obama, Internet addiction, "Is marriage obsolete?," electronic cigarettes, 8-minute sermons, early puberty, the Civil War sesquicentennial, Arizona's immigration law, the 50th anniversary of the Andy Griffith Show, armed teachers, "Are women smarter than men?," Archie Andrews' proposal to Veronica, 2012 and the Mayan calendar, ACLU school lawsuits, cutbacks at ABC News, and the 30th anniversary of the death of John Lennon.

Tyree generated a particular buzz on the Internet with his column spoofing real-life Christian nudist camps.

Most of the editors carrying "Tyree’s Tyrades" keep it firmly in place on the opinion page, but the column is very versatile. It can also anchor the lifestyles section or float throughout the paper.

Nancy Brewer, assistant editor of the "Lawrence County (TN) Advocate" says she "really appreciates" what Tyree contributes to the paper. Tyree has appeared in Tennesee newspapers continuously since 1998.

Tyree is a lifelong small-town southerner. He graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1982 with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communications. In addition to writing the weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades," he writes freelance articles for MegaBucks Marketing of Elkhart, Indiana.

Tyree wears many hats (but still falls back on that lame comb-over). He is a warehousing and communications specialist for his hometown farmers cooperative, a church deacon, a comic book collector, a husband (wife Melissa is a college biology teacher), and a late-in-life father. (Six-year-old son Gideon frequently pops up in the columns.)

Bringing the formerly self-syndicated "Tyree's Tyrades" to Cagle Cartoons is part of Tyree's mid-life crisis master plan. Look for things to get even crazier if you use his columns.