Afraid of missing out on Veterans Day?

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

Murphy’s Law being what it is, whether you’re talking about a surprise party, a romantic getaway or visiting an acquaintance in the hospital, good intentions don’t always pan out.

The same goes for the intention to carry out a proper observation of Veterans Day.

Sometimes work/family obligations, ill health or inclement weather stand in the way of attending a public ceremony honoring our nation’s veterans. “Maybe next year” is the lament of too many of us.

Imagine my delight when a Google search revealed “Suggested Speech for Veterans Day 2022” from The American Legion. (I did not find a corresponding speech from the VFW, but I want to tip my hat to that organization as well.)

The downloadable speech can be found at: https://www.legion.org/publications/257163/veterans-day-speech-2022.

My mention of this speech is not at all intended to offer it as a “get out of jail free” card for skipping public commemorations and melding with your recliner. But it is invaluable as a substitute for those who truly can’t participate. It is also a supplement and keepsake for those who do manage to attend a parade or other ceremony.

Perhaps the unassuming title of the document flies under your radar, but I am struck by the term “suggested.”

The speech is a template, a guideline, a resource for the dignitaries directing local commemorations across the country. Thanks to the men and women defending our shores and airspace, this republic has stood for nearly 250 years. We do not have some conquering foreign tyrant dictating the contents of public communications or enforcing mandatory attendance at “pep rallies.”

Besides telling about the military and post-military contributions of our veterans, the speech advocates for the hiring of veterans, calls attention to the plight of homeless vets and publicizes the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (9-8-8, extension 1 for veterans).

I hope the speech will be widely heard and circulated, to stir up our appreciation of veterans.

Sure, society still gives a nod to the dwindling members of the Greatest Generation who fought in World War II and Korea. We have learned to exhibit a certain degree of respect for the draftees who were trapped in the quagmire of the Vietnam War. But sometimes it seems that the advent of the all-volunteer military has made us more complacent.

“Hey, they knew what they were signing up for” is the attitude of many who think that our national security comes from pixie dust.
But do any of us ever know exactly what we’re getting into? Referring back to good intentions, no marriage, no job, no infrastructure project ever turns out exactly like we expected.

We complain about politicians lying, but to a considerable extent, they are genuinely flummoxed when they get elected and their sincere (naïve) promises prove to be impossible to implement.

No matter how brave, athletic and resourceful an enlistee is, the military is an unenviable challenge.

Regulations, culture clashes, inhospitable climates, separation from loved ones and physical danger all make honorable military service something worth celebrating.

Those who speak dismissively of our veterans are guilty of a dishonorable discharge from their mouths.

Try your best to mark Veterans Day by thanking a vet one-on-one and/or attending a community ceremony.

But download the speech as well. And pass a copy along to everyone whom you think could benefit from its inspirational message.

Turn “good intentions” into “mission accomplished.”

Copyright 2022 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at [email protected] and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”

Controversial author Harlan Ellison once described the work of Danny Tyree as "wonkily extrapolative" and said Tyree's mind "works like a demented cuckoo clock."

Ellison was speaking primarily of Tyree’s 1983-2000 stint on the "Dan T’s Inferno" column for “Comics Buyer’s Guide” hobby magazine, but the description would also fit his weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades" column for mainstream newspapers.

Inspired by Dave Barry, Al "Li'l Abner" Capp, Lewis Grizzard, David Letterman, and "Saturday Night Live," "Tyree's Tyrades" has been taking a humorous look at politics and popular culture since 1998.

Tyree has written on topics as varied as Rent-A-Friend.com, the Lincoln bicentennial, "Woodstock At 40," worm ranching, the Vatican conference on extraterrestrials, violent video games, synthetic meat, the decline of soap operas, robotic soldiers, the nation's first marijuana café, Sen. Joe Wilson’s "You lie!" outburst at President Obama, Internet addiction, "Is marriage obsolete?," electronic cigarettes, 8-minute sermons, early puberty, the Civil War sesquicentennial, Arizona's immigration law, the 50th anniversary of the Andy Griffith Show, armed teachers, "Are women smarter than men?," Archie Andrews' proposal to Veronica, 2012 and the Mayan calendar, ACLU school lawsuits, cutbacks at ABC News, and the 30th anniversary of the death of John Lennon.

Tyree generated a particular buzz on the Internet with his column spoofing real-life Christian nudist camps.

Most of the editors carrying "Tyree’s Tyrades" keep it firmly in place on the opinion page, but the column is very versatile. It can also anchor the lifestyles section or float throughout the paper.

Nancy Brewer, assistant editor of the "Lawrence County (TN) Advocate" says she "really appreciates" what Tyree contributes to the paper. Tyree has appeared in Tennesee newspapers continuously since 1998.

Tyree is a lifelong small-town southerner. He graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1982 with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communications. In addition to writing the weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades," he writes freelance articles for MegaBucks Marketing of Elkhart, Indiana.

Tyree wears many hats (but still falls back on that lame comb-over). He is a warehousing and communications specialist for his hometown farmers cooperative, a church deacon, a comic book collector, a husband (wife Melissa is a college biology teacher), and a late-in-life father. (Six-year-old son Gideon frequently pops up in the columns.)

Bringing the formerly self-syndicated "Tyree's Tyrades" to Cagle Cartoons is part of Tyree's mid-life crisis master plan. Look for things to get even crazier if you use his columns.