What Do You Remember About 9/11 – And Before?

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Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

Early on the morning of September 11, 2001, I was a newly minted warehouse supervisor for a farmers cooperative.

I can remember almost exactly where a customer’s truck was parked when I overheard him telling one of my co-workers something or another about a plane crash up north.

A few minutes later, I received an urgent (landline) phone call from my wife. She had been watching NBC’s “Today” show and saw breaking coverage of the suicide attacks on the Twin Towers (and other targets).

In my first few weeks as a supervisor, I made a practice of submitting a daily report about warehouse activities. I remember my September 11 entry unashamedly stated that I chose not to crack the whip on my staff that horrible day, instead allowing everyone a chance to come to terms with their shock, grief, anger and anxiety.

We humans have a knack for preserving such milestone tragedies in amber. We remember exactly where we were and who we were with when we learned about JFK’s assassination, the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger or Kurt Cobain’s death.

The incremental steps that can lead to disasters? Not so much.

One day blends into another as the decisions, shortcuts and rationalizations of our unexamined lives affect us and those around us.

True, some people are introspective enough that they can retroactively acknowledge regrettable patterns (think “Cat’s in the Cradle”), but most of us feel blindsided and start finger-pointing when things go wrong.

It’s ridiculous to think that the bullying we unloaded on Billy last Friday (or was it last Thursday?) could ever snowball into his committing suicide. But such things happen.

Election time again? Okay, pull the lever for the candidate with the biggest smile, flashiest celebrity endorsements and wildest promises. Collect your “I Voted” sticker. Then act surprised when the city, state or country falls apart. Lather, rinse, repeat.

We get a little more desensitized every time we “dodge a bullet.” If we’ve made it so far without fixing the brakes or having the house wiring inspected, why not kick the can down the road a little farther? Oh, yeah – all that hassle with the fire engines and the Jaws of Life.

We know the shock of stepping on the doctor’s scales, even though the individual indulgences that contributed to our weight gain are long forgotten.

If we’re one of many people enabling a substance abuser, we can act innocent when they wind up in prison or the grave.

We pass up a local mom-and-pop store “just this once” so many times that mom and pop eventually hang up a “Going out of business” sign.

Unless we keep a detailed diary, we couldn’t really enumerate all the ways in which we’ve frittered away the last five or 10 years; but in times of crisis, the fruits of our non-labors become painfully obvious. We haven’t learned a new skill/language, gained any new friends or made a lasting contribution to the community.

Etcetera, etcetera.

As 9/11 anniversary follows 9/11 anniversary, I hope our citizens and institutions will always remember the victims of the sneak attack. I hope we will always be vigilant about terrorism, whether foreign or domestic.

But I also hope we can live deliberately every day – discerning good from evil, calculating unintended consequences.

That’s how we can really obtain a happier, fairer, safer world.

Copyright 2021 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at [email protected] and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”

Controversial author Harlan Ellison once described the work of Danny Tyree as "wonkily extrapolative" and said Tyree's mind "works like a demented cuckoo clock."

Ellison was speaking primarily of Tyree’s 1983-2000 stint on the "Dan T’s Inferno" column for “Comics Buyer’s Guide” hobby magazine, but the description would also fit his weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades" column for mainstream newspapers.

Inspired by Dave Barry, Al "Li'l Abner" Capp, Lewis Grizzard, David Letterman, and "Saturday Night Live," "Tyree's Tyrades" has been taking a humorous look at politics and popular culture since 1998.

Tyree has written on topics as varied as Rent-A-Friend.com, the Lincoln bicentennial, "Woodstock At 40," worm ranching, the Vatican conference on extraterrestrials, violent video games, synthetic meat, the decline of soap operas, robotic soldiers, the nation's first marijuana café, Sen. Joe Wilson’s "You lie!" outburst at President Obama, Internet addiction, "Is marriage obsolete?," electronic cigarettes, 8-minute sermons, early puberty, the Civil War sesquicentennial, Arizona's immigration law, the 50th anniversary of the Andy Griffith Show, armed teachers, "Are women smarter than men?," Archie Andrews' proposal to Veronica, 2012 and the Mayan calendar, ACLU school lawsuits, cutbacks at ABC News, and the 30th anniversary of the death of John Lennon.

Tyree generated a particular buzz on the Internet with his column spoofing real-life Christian nudist camps.

Most of the editors carrying "Tyree’s Tyrades" keep it firmly in place on the opinion page, but the column is very versatile. It can also anchor the lifestyles section or float throughout the paper.

Nancy Brewer, assistant editor of the "Lawrence County (TN) Advocate" says she "really appreciates" what Tyree contributes to the paper. Tyree has appeared in Tennesee newspapers continuously since 1998.

Tyree is a lifelong small-town southerner. He graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1982 with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communications. In addition to writing the weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades," he writes freelance articles for MegaBucks Marketing of Elkhart, Indiana.

Tyree wears many hats (but still falls back on that lame comb-over). He is a warehousing and communications specialist for his hometown farmers cooperative, a church deacon, a comic book collector, a husband (wife Melissa is a college biology teacher), and a late-in-life father. (Six-year-old son Gideon frequently pops up in the columns.)

Bringing the formerly self-syndicated "Tyree's Tyrades" to Cagle Cartoons is part of Tyree's mid-life crisis master plan. Look for things to get even crazier if you use his columns.